The Death of The Heart
by emeraldprincess92
Summary: After an event, James Potter comes back to Hogwarts changed. When James has a chose to make, will he choose what is easy or what is right? Watch as James struggle to come in term with his dark past and, maybe, become the person he is destined to be...R&R!
1. It's For The Best

Disclaimer: Roses are red. Violets are blue. I do not own Harry. So do not sue!

**_Summary: _**He loved her. She hated him. However, what happens when an event causes him to change? Moreover, she notices and falls in love with him. Two problems occur: 1. He sinks into a depression and pushes everyone away. 2. He loses interest in her. Will Lily and his friends help him rise up from his depression? In addition, will Lily stop acting bitchy and listen to her heart? Read and Review!

"Hey Prongs!" Prongs turned around to see two boys run up to him. These three boys made up the group called the Marauders

James Potter was the leader of their group. He was 6'2 and was quite muscular, which came with years of playing quiddicth. He had messy black hair, which girls thought sexy. Moreover, his eyes were the strangest color; they were a dark hazel that seemed never ending, however, if you looked closely, you could see flecks of purple, which offset the darker color nicely.

Next came Sirius Black, co-leader and the ladies man. Sirius had shoulder length black hair and ocean blue eyes. He was an inch shorter than James was and was also quite muscular, which came from years of playing beater on the quidditch team.

Finally, there was Remus Lupin, the nice, quiet one. He had chocolate brown hair and amber eyes. He was the thoughtful, considerate one that all girls thought was cute. He was quite muscular as well, but he was also very pale. He was 6 feet and he was a werewolf.

All together, they were the Marauders. They had never kept secrets from each other…until now.

oo000o000o000.

"Hey Padfoot"James said, hoping beyond hope that his friends did not notice his changes. Unbeknownst to his friends, James had spent three weeks in St. Mungo's being treated for depression and attempted suicide. Luckily, he convinced his parents to send him back to Hogwarts and they had promised not to tell anyone about his condition. Today was his first day out since the whole ordeal began.

"How was your summer?" Remus asked

"Uh...it was great…I got to go." James said as he boarded the train, leaving his friends behind.

"What just happened?" Sirius asked, looking at the place where James once stood

"I don't know but something's wrong, he looked different." Remus said looking thoughtful.

"Yeah, well, why are we just standing here? Let's go find him," Sirius said before he boarded the train, closely followed by Remus

oo00oo00oo00

"Potter! What are you doing here?" Lily Evans asked as she saw James enter the head compartment.

"I'm head boy." James answered monotonously, which took Lily by surprise.

"Pfft…. yeah right, now who's the real head boy?" Lily asked looking past James.

James eyes flashed with anger and he said rather coldly "I am, whether you like it or not"

Lily just narrowed her eyes and said "Fine."

After the meeting, James was the first to leave. He went to the bathroom and locked it with a locking charm. He took a deep breath and examined himself in the mirror. It was quite evident that he did not eat much since his face was slightly gaunt and all the emotional stress that happened over the summer made his hazel eyes seem dead. Luckily, nobody noticed the changes in James Potter and he hoped it stayed that way.

Sighing, James took out a razor blade, pulled up his sleeve, and examined the scars that were already present on his arm already.

"_At least you inflicted this pain,"_ a voice said in his head _"Maybe it's better than the pain you receive from everyone else."_

"_No, just go away, why you can't just go away?"_ James thought desperately. This voice was the one that convinced James to start cutting himself. It convinced him that the pain he received from his friends and family was bad enough to bleed over, to die over. This ominous voice blew every tiny thing out of proportion and made him forget that most of the pains, if at all existent, were minor and easily forgotten.

"_Because, James, I'm here to help you," _the voice said, "_I'm here to take the pain away, and by doing that you must push everyone away…isolate yourself from everyone."_

"_Who are you?"_ James asked before putting the blade on his arm

"_You can call me Tom," _the voice said as James slashed his arm, causing blood to flow immediately. He gasped at the pain, but almost instantly, the pain faded to be replaced by an icy numbness. He heard banging, notifying that someone wanted to use the bathroom, he did a simple cleaning spell, and he tore a piece of his robe and wrapped his wrist with it and made sure that his robes concealed his injuries. With that, he left the bathroom but before he got far someone got a hold of his injured wrist. James flinched and wrenched his wrist from the person grip.

Without turning, he said coldly "Don't touch me."

"Whoa, James, it's just us" he heard Sirius say.

"_This is your first test."_ Tom said as James tensed as he remembered what Tom had said:

"_They only want you for your popularity"_

"_They don't care about you"_

"_Not even Evans"_

"_Not even your parents"_

"**_They all want to hurt you"_**

"_At least you inflicted this pain, not them."_

"_Isolate yourself from them before they hurt you more."_

"_You don't have any friends"_

"_I'm the only you can trust"_

"I know." James said coldly before leaving. He could imagine the looks of hurt on Sirius and Remus' face.

"_It's for the best."_ Tom said

End of Chapter

A/n: what you think? Sorry for the short chapter. Moreover, I know you guys already know who tom is or do you? Read and review! In addition, I would like to thank my newly found beta reader for this story Tearlit! Thankx a bunch!


	2. What Happened To You?

Disclaimer: I do not own harry potter the honor goes to J.K Rowling

Chapter 2: What happened to you?

"What his problem?" Sirius whispered after the Sorting ended.

"I don't know, but something happened over the summer." Remus whispered, then looking around to make sure nobody was listening he continued "When you caught his wrist he flinched and I smelt blood."

"Something definitely happened." Sirius said, worried.

"Where is he?" Remus asked

"There." Sirius responded, pointing to the end of the table where James sat.

"If we confront him here, we'll make a scene," Remus said as he saw Sirius got up.

"I don't care." Sirius said, then he added, "Neither should you."

Remus sighed, and got up and they both walked toward James, As they passed everyone became deathly silent, due to everyone having heard about the incident on the train.

"_Here they come."_ Tom hissed, which made James tensed.

"What do you want?" James asked coldly, as soon as Sirius and Remus stood in front of him, without turning to face his best friends.

"I don't know what your problem, James, but I want to find out why all of a sudden you're cold to us," Sirius said angrily.

"_See, if they were real friends they wouldn't make a scene in front of everyone, they just want attention."_ Tom said.

"_You're right,"_ James thought _"they're not my friends."_

"Nothing that concerns you, Black." James spat facing his friends.

They gasped. They saw the deadness in his eyes and his gaunt face.

"What happened to you, James?" Remus whispered, shocked.

James went up to Remus ear and whispered, "If you won't leave me alone, I'll make you, werewolf," He hissed the last word out so that only Sirius and Remus could hear,

"You wouldn't," Remus said, paling.

James just rose an eyebrow and said coldly "Watch me."

"James, what is your problem, we're just trying to help because you're our best friend." Sirius said, glaring at his friend.

James faced Sirius, and spat "Not anymore," before leaving the Great Hall in shock.

Dumbledore got up and left the Great Hall along with McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey

"James! James!" Dumbledore called entering the dormitory to see James on his bed.

"_Don't listen to the old fool!_" Tom hissed urgently.

"James, we heard about what happened over the summer and I am truly sorry," Dumbledore said gravely, sitting next to James, though the boy in question did not acknowledge his presence.

"_You don't need his pity._" Tom said

"I don't need your pity." James said repeating Tom's words.

"Mr. Potter, every morning you must come to the hospital wing to take your potion for malnutrition." Madam Pomfrey said before leaving.

"James, listen you should not push yourself from everyone, we are only here to help you. Your parents informed me of your condition over the summer. I want you to know if you ever feel down feel free to come to me, understand?" Dumbledore said.

"Like I told my parents, Dumbledore, I don't need help from anyone, I'm perfectly fine!" James said glaring at Dumbledore

"Mr. Potter don't talk to the headmaster like that," Professor McGonagall said, shocked

"I don't care! _Headmaster_ Dumbledore shouldn't stick his head in other people business." James snarled before closing the curtain and falling asleep.

((o))

The next day James dreaded to wake up; he did not want to face his friends so he snuck out of the dormitory and headed to the hospital wing.

"Good morning, Potter." Madam Pomfrey said as she saw James enter the hospital wing.

"Good morning." James replied.

"Drink." Madam Pomfrey said, nodding to the bubbling potion on her desk.

James reluctantly drank the potion, instantly feeling warmth when he finished it.

James then left the infirmary. Even though the potion worked for malnutrition, it did not work for the depression and the voice inside his head, which, James decided, was the first sign of madness.

James sighed and entered the great hall; everyone instantly looked at him as he sat down.

"_See how they look at you like a circus monkey._" Tom sneered

"I know…I know." James whispered holding his head and grabbing a fistful of hair.

"James?" a feminine voice called as she sat near him, but James did not acknowledge her.

"_See how they look at you like you're insane."_ Tom jeered

"Shut up" James said breathing heavily

"James, are you okay?" Lily asked looking at him strangely.

"_You can't escape me, boy, just like you can't escape the people you called friends and family. If they were, how come they didn't protect her?_" Tom said and James could almost see the smirk on his face.

"Yeah." James said, ignoring Tom.

"Are you sure?" Lily asked, while her heart was beating like mad and her insides were doing flip-flops.

"Look, Evans, you never cared before, so why should you care now?"

'_Because I like you.'_ Lily thought but instead she narrowed her eyes and said, "Well I'm sorry for trying to act nice Potter."

"Whatever." James said, getting up because the smell of food made his stomach churn. As he neared the exit, someone grabbed his wrist, dragged him out, and pushed him to the nearest wall.

"I donâ€™t know what your problem is but I want to now." It was Sirius.

"Like I said before: it's nothing that concerns you, Black."

"Anything that concerns my best friends concerns me, so cut the crap," Sirius snarled.

For a moment, James wanted to spill everything, about what happened over the summer and how Tom came to be, to his best friend

'_Are you really going to consider telling them about me?'_ Tom asked angrily '_You'll learn very soon to not double cross me"_ After that was said, James was struck with pain that felt as if a hundred knives were stabbing and slashing him. He screamed, which made Sirius let him go.

He heard Remus say, "Bring him to the infirmary now!" The last thing he heard before he blacked out was a cold, chilling laugh that reminded him oddly of Tom and he saw a fleeting glimpse of red eyes.

A/N: Sorry for the cliffy! I am so evil! Anyway now it is obvious to whom tom is! Oh and the girl I keep mentioning I will reveal her identity next chappie! Thank you all who reviewed from last chapter I really appreciate it! Love you all! Oh and I am so sorry for the short chapter! Read and Review! Again, Thankx to my Beta Reader she's awesome!


	3. Not Going Back

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, why would I be posting my stories in _fan_ fiction? So no, I do _not_ I _own _Harry Potter and I will _never_ will!

_Chapter3: Not Going Back_

"_No…" James whispered as he neared the figure. "NO!" He yelled out as he saw who the person was; he felt empty as he looked into her dead hazel eyes. "Jessie." James said as he knelt next to her, "Stop playing, _Jessie_, and wake up." Tears stung James' eyes as he realize his twin was gone forever. He was never going to chase her around the house, or plan pranks with her. He promised then that he would avenge his sister death; that those responsible would pay. He will make sure they will pay. He cursed everyone who did not come to rescue his twin. He cursed his parents, Dumbledore, the ministry; he even cursed his friends for letting her die. In that moment, James Potter broke down. In that moment, James Potter was no more; it seems as if the death of his twin already caused his world to crash... _

"_James," A cold voice called. James snapped his head up and looked around to find the speaker._

"_Who's there?" James yelled. _

"_I'm the one who's going to free you from your pain." The voice answered._

"_How?" James asked desperately, wanting the pain to go away._

"_La voce in mia testa!_" The_ voice yelled and before James could react, a purple beam hit him._

_He screamed in pain._

With that, James woke up with a start. He looked around and he found that he was in the hospital wing.

"James you're awake," His mother said relieved.

"Son, we were so worried," His father said smiling slightly.

"Jessie…"James whispered as tears stung his eyes.

His friends looked confused before they both sprouted looks of shock. Remus was the first to break the thick silence.

"Mrs. Potter…where is Jessica?" Remus asked hesitantly.

Mrs. Potter looked like she was battling a raging war between herself before she burst in tears. Mr. Potter was instantly by her side, comforting her even though he had tears in his own eyes.

Remus and Sirius looked at them in horror. Then they turned to James and asked the same question.

"James...where's your sister," Sirius asked quietly as he thought about the situation; he had not seen Jessica at all. How could he have been so stupid?

James sighed and in a strained voice, he said "S-s-she's…..D-d-dead….Can you believe it, Padfoot? The invincible Jessie is DEAD….why….WHY Jessie….why did you go….why did you leave me…..I can't live without my other half…..I CAN'T!" James yelled, tears streaming down his face.

"James, we're going to help you," Madam Pomfrey said softly, obviously knowing the boy in front of her was slightly suicidal.

"Help? HELP? When she needed help, where were you? Why couldn't you save her? And you knew. That is the worse part. You KNEW! When she said that a Death Eater was out there, you told her she was talking nonsense….Then you just ignored her…..When she always said there's someone out there….When she cried for help you just laughed…..and said she might just be playing a prank. Well guess what MOM….DAD It was _not_ a prank….It was _not_ even funny. I don't want your help after what you did to my twin you already helped enough in causing me pain." James roared at them, enjoying as the looks of guilt, pain, and shock passed over their faces.

'_Oh no I'm becoming like Tom'_ James thought with horror _'How can I enjoy their pain?'_

"James" His mother started sternly "You have no say in this, so your father and I have decided to bring you back to St. Mungo's and that's final."

"S-St. Mungo's" James whispered in horror, "You can't bring me there."

"And why can't we James?" His father asked curiously.

"N-no please don't send me back, please." James said pleading

"No, James, we have already made our decision, you're coming to St. Mungo's." Mr. Potter said

"I-I w-won't let you." James stuttered slightly as he stood up from his place on the bed.

"Mr. Potter!" Madam Pomfrey screeched as she saw James get up "Lay down this instant!"

"No way." James hissed as he prepared himself to run.

"James please…" His mother whimpered out.

"I am not going back to that hell hole." James said as he closed his eyes, trying to forget the torture he had endured in that hospital with Tom taunting him, making his head fill with darker thoughts every moment. He shuddered; he would never go back there, to that place where he felt vulnerable to everyone around him, including Tom.

"Tom was right," James whispered.

"Tom, did you say, James?" Dumbledore asked paling.

"N-nothing. I said nothing." James said quickly as he neared the entrance, but the adults had already pulled out their wands and were ready to strike him.

"I'm sorry James," His mother whispered before she shouted a spell.

However, James was already off; dashing through the hall, he thanked anyone who was watching that the halls were empty. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a jet of red light past his shoulder. He cursed as he turned a corner and collided with someone. He groaned before he got up and help the person up only to see….

"Evans?"

"Potter? Why aren't you in class?" Lily asked glaring at him.

"I should ask you the same thing." James retorted before he started running again as he heard footsteps approach. He stopped in a skidding halt as he found himself in a dead end. Unfortunately, this time, the jet of red light hit him in the middle of the back. Everything went black for James Potter.

End of Chapter

**A/n:** First, I would like to thank all who reviewed and my awesome beta reader! Thankx a bunch! Next, I would like to comment that it was quite disappointing that this chapter is so short (1,139 words!)! Sorry, for those who was expecting a long chapter but I had to put a little cliffy! Heehaw! Yeah I am evil, so what,! Ok anyway I got some interesting **review**s on who the girl should be but of course, I took the most important one: A twin sister so, of course, James has a reason to get in a depression! Ok, Jamie Potter looks like a female version of James except her hair is curly instead of messy. And, before anyone ask, yes they used to have a bond but was broken when she died. Thankx again for reading I would have never thought this story would be successful so I am still keeping my finger cross because you know if I do not get any **review,** I will not finish this story, which has an awesome ending! Ahhhhh….The pros of being an author: You know how the story ends! Anyways, Thankx and do not forget to **Read and review!** And if you leave a **review** I give you a nice little teddy bear like the one below!

Till next time,

EmeraldPrincess92_♥  
_

_( )( )  
('.')  
(")(")♥ (Isn't He Cute?!)_

A/n: I'm Trying this new thing and answering review in the chappie! Let's see how it goes!

**_piggy396_**_- No i wasn't talking about Lily but you'll have to read this chappie to know who i was talking about sorry i confused you! Anyway thankx for the review!_

_**orangeokapi13**_- _Thankx for tha review! I'm glad you liked it!_

**_sweets555_**_**-** Yes! You hit the Jack pot! Yeah old voldie in James Head how original! Thankx for the review!_

**_I love fred and George_**_**-**I'm glad you liked!_

**_Prongsthewhitehart_**_**-**Thankx I tried really hard in this chappie to fix my grammer but i still have some mistakes so bare with me please! Thankx for the review!_

_Thank you all for reviewing! I hope I get more in this chapter I need 5 new reviews to update!  
_


	4. Finding out Part 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the plot and some of the characters!

**Chapter 4: Finding out...part 1**

_Jessica Potter desperately ran toward the exit of the forest, as she saw someone follow her, but before she could have gone far, a spell hit her causing her to fall onto the ground. Tears stung her eyes as she realizes that, maybe; this might be her final day on earth. Thinking desperately she tried to call for her bonded…her brother._

'_James? James! Help! Please!' Jessica thought desperately as she saw the figure near her_

'_Jessie? Where are you?' Jessica almost cried out in joy as she heard James voice_

'_James, I'm in the forest, please, hurry" Jessica realized, with horror that the forest was far off from their home. She just prayed that James was fast enough too get to her_

'_I'm coming' Jessica let out a breath of relief as she realized that her brother was coming_

"_Well…Well…Well what do we have here…Ah yes Jessica Potter" A slickly voice said behind her_

_Jessica spun around to face her attacker only to see blond hair and a pair of cold gray eyes behind a mask. Jessica stared defiantly at the person who looked only eighteen._

"_Who are you? And what do you want?" Jessica said glaring at the young man_

"_My name is not of importance and I'm here to break your precious brother heart" The man said smirking behind the mask_

"_You could never break my brother" Jessica said proudly_

_The man stepped toward Jessica before he replied "Really? Then if I would have killed you he wouldn't have cared?"_

"_He would grieve but I know my brother…. my brother would never crumble" Jessica hissed back her hazel eyes flashing dangerously_

"_Really? I find that hard to believe we'll just see when I kill you let's see how he fairs shall we?" Taking another step toward Jessica_

"_James is strong and he will always be even if I'm not there by his side even if our bond will be broken I know James will never fall down to his knees to you or your master" Jessica said and boldly took a step toward the man "So kill me because I have enough faith in James to know that if I would die he will live…He never disappointed me….I hope he doesn't disappoint me this time either" Jessica muttered the last sentence under her breath_

_Suddenly the man began clamping before he spoke "Bravo…Bravo famous last words aren't they…you will be smart to remember, Jessica Potter, that there is no light or dark there is only power and those too weak too seek it…Goodbye Potter….Avada Kedrava" The man shouted as he smirked in satisfaction as he saw the blinding green light hit the sixteen year-old girl._

_Jessica Potter fell and before she left the world she heard her brother yell "NO!" and everything went black._

With a start James, once again, woke up. James looked around and panicked when he saw that he wasn't in the infirmary but in St.Mungo.

"Can't escape me now, James," A cold voice said which came from the end of the white bed James laid down

James looked at where the bed ended and saw Tom in the flesh. James blood froze as he remembered Jessica's last words. He wasn't going to disappoint his sister anymore now he was going to avenge her death and make Tom leave once and for all.

"What do you want Tom?" James snarled out glaring at the boy who made his life miserable

"Don't take that tone with me boy" Tom said in such a cold tone that made James shiver "Do you want to expose your secret?" Tom said smirking knowing that he hit a soft spot

James paled as he said that. No one knew what James had desperately hidden for so many years that even his parents, friends, even Jessica didn't knowing.

"What do you want because I've had enough of you" James said glaring at him

"I have two conditions for you and I won't expose your deepest darkest secret. 1. If you expose me to any of your friends or family I will kill them right in front of you. 2. I'll give you three months for you to either kill your family and friends or become a Death Eater…."

End of Chapter

_**Author's Response to Reviews:**_

**Super Smexy Snuffles**_: You are one weird person! Yes in the beginning I did make it seem kinda Emo but have no fears James is getting better! I kinda like that Depression hex you suggested it was kinda entertaining to read! James is going to avenge his loved ones so don't worry! Don't worry I don't take offense against reviewers or reviews I take all of the crticism to heart and i'm glad you liked it...sort of I hope you read the rest because I can't wait for you to comment this review your reviews are always entertaining to read and respond! I don't think you could have come across bitchy because I could have been bitcher (Is that a word) anyway thankx for the review! I really apperciate the feedback/review!_

**Super Cara**_- Everyone says that when they read about the Tom posseing James thing don't worry it'll get better so be patient thankx for the review really apperciate it!  
_

**Super Cara**_- yeah I have so many cliffies that will be coming up and this chapter should answer you question about Jessica's Death and james will be making a decision! Thank you I was afraid this story would get some flamers but aparently not thankx again! I'll update ASAP! Thankx for the review!_

_**Author's Note:**_

_**A/n: I am sooooooo sorry for the shortest chapter I have ever written but I had to leave a cliffhanger! Promise if you bear with me next chapter will be 2,000 words and up. Author's promise but you have to review! Now to explain stuff….the scene is before Jessica died….James has three months too either become a Death eater or Kill his family and friends talk about pressure what will James do? Of course I know…hehehehe…I won't tell anyone….anyway James darkest secret really is dark so be prepared to be shock and find that there may be a different part of James…Next, James is not completely out of his depression and next chapter Lily and the marauders find out and go see James and James and Lily have a moment squeal I think I cover everything if you have any questions leave a review and I'll answer the best I can! Thanks for all the reviews so far! Hope theirs more to come!**_


	5. Finding out Part 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry potter or any of the characters you recognize the only person I own is Jessica and I also own the plot

Chapter 5: Finding out…part 2

_Summary: The rest of the marauders finally finds out about why James went to St. Mungo's and goes to visit him with Lily…Read and Review!_

"No" James said firmly as he finally contemplating what Tom just revealed to him. "There's no way in hell that'll I'll become a death Eater or kill my own family you're mad to think that I will ever do that"

"Then you won't care if I tell everyone about your secret you desperately tried to hide since you were twelve…The same secret that you couldn't even tell your own sister" Tom hissed back "Besides, if you won't kill them, then, I will. I'll start with your father then your mother, but I'll have fun with her first, then, your werewolf friend, I'll break him with silver and then your best friend he'll be hard to break but I'll find a way, then, last but not least your little mudblood whore, oh, I'll have fun with her" Tom said his crimson red eyes burning into James hazel ones.

"I'll think about it" James murmured as he watched Tom smirk in satisfaction

"You have three months" Tom said, smirking and with a small pop, Tom disappeared leaving a semi-broken boy behind.

Sighing, James warily settled himself back onto the bed before he stared blankly at the white ceiling thinking.

If James didn't do what Tom wanted from him, he'll go to Azkaban for what he did when he was twelve…something he didn't need reminder of. But he didn't want to be a killer or a Death Eater but either way he'll hurt the people he loved the most. If he didn't choose neither he'll have to watch his loved ones be tortured by a monster, like Tom, kill them and he'll not only lose one of his loved ones but all of them. James head was in turmoil as he weighed the option.

James felt tears prickled his eyes as he realized what just happened…Three months…in three months from today he'll have to decide….on Halloween night he'll have to tell Tom his decision…

**((o))**

Remus and Sirius both stared into the fire hoping that, at least, it'll give them some answers they were hoping they could get. They hadn't received any information from the adults.

"_I'm sorry, Sirius and Remus, but I can't tell you anything right now" Mr. Potter said to the two frantic teens as he held his unconscious son in his arms._

"_Why?" They had both shouted as a response. They both wanted to scream, yell, and cry at the same time but what they wanted the most was their best friend, no, their 'brother' next to them not unconscious in his father arms looking deathly pale and shaken._

"_We need to bring James to St. Mungo's" James's mother told the two frustrated boys, gently_

"_But can't you tell us anything, please," Sirius asked pleading not daring to look at his best friend_

"_I think James is the right person to ask" Dumbledore said entering the conversation the twinkle in his eyes gone leaving him looking very old._

"_Albus is right you should ask James he may have the answers to some of the things we don't have answers to or understand" Mrs. Potter said saying the last part under her breath_

"_Can we visit?" Remus asked looking at the Potters_

"_Yes, you may, he'll be in room 12" Mr. Potter said before he left the hospital wing leaving two very worried teenagers behind._

Remus didn't understand. Why did James hide his sister death? Was there something more? Did he not trust the other marauders? Did something else happened that they hadn't noticed?

Remus searched his mind for the answers to these questions but didn't find any evidence or proof that showed that something was wrong with James? But then why….

_James flinched as someone grabbed a hold on his injured wrist, he wrenched it out the person grip and without turning he said coldly,_

"_Don't touch me,"_

"_Whoa, James, it's just us" It was Sirius_

_Then after a moment of hesitation before the response came "I know"_

Remus jerked himself from that memory. He didn't want to remember how hurt and angry James made them. That was the first sign that something was wrong with James then what were the others….

"_I don't want to go to St. Mungo's"_

"_Sirius, when you took hold of his wrist…I smelt blood"_

_Dead haunted hazel eyes _

"_Anywhere but St. Mungo's"_

"_Dead…Jessica's dead!"_

"_Tom was right"_

_I smelt blood_

_I smelt blood_

_I SMELT BLOOD_

He paled as the realization hit him. He jumped from his position on the sofa in Gryffindor's Common Room, next to him, Sirius was startled out his daze as Remus made toward the fireplace.

"Accio Floo Powder" Remus called, pulling out his wand

"Remus, what the hell are you doing" Sirius exclaimed as he got out from his seat and made toward his friend

"I'm going to see, James" Remus said as the floo powder he summoned zoomed into his waiting hand.

"Remus are you insane Mrs. P said that'll she'll tell us when we could visit" Sirius hissed trying to take the powder from his friend

Remus amber flashed in anger before he responded, "Sirius, I smelt _blood_" he told him as if that explained everything and to Sirius and only Sirius, it seems, it did.

Sirius paled and said, "Well, what are you waiting for?"

But before any of them could move a voice behind them said,

"I'm coming to" Remus and Sirius turned around and saw Lily standing behind them.

"No way Evans" Sirius said angrily

"Yes, way or I'll tell Dumbledore you went" Lily hissed back glaring at the two teenage boys

They both shared a glance before they sighed and murmured "Fine"

Throwing some floo powder in the fireplace, which instantly turned green, Remus entered the fire before yelling, "St. Mungo's, Room 12" Instantly he was gone. Sirius and Lily did the same leaving an empty Common Room behind.

((o))

Remus stepped out of the fire, closely followed by Sirius and Lily, and angrily marched toward his best friend and grabbed hold of the other boy's wrist and pulling the arm sleeve down he hissed, "What the fuck is this, James?" He could hear Sirius and Lily gasp as they saw all the scars that ran along James' arm from wrist to shoulder blade.

"Care to explain how the fuck you bloody got these scars?" Remus hissed shoving the arm back to its owner. James sighed, then closing his eyes he asked tiredly, "How long have you known?"

"Does it matter, huh, James?" Remus asked angrily he knew that James was stalling

When he didn't get a response from James, he asked again, "Well?"

"No, I don't think the question was necessary," James responded

"Are you going to tell us or not?" Sirius asked impatiently, glaring at the scars seeming as they were the reason that their friend became so distant.

"Fine," James said before he breathed in and began to speak, "I tried to commit suicide this summer then I started cutting myself but I stopped about two days ago" His friends looked at him in shock

"You tried committing suicide why?" Sirius whispered out not daring to belive what his friend just told him

"I couldn't live without Jessie by my side, I guess," James said looking at anywhere but his friends

"Is that all you want to tell us James" Remus asked though he wasa still concerned that James was still cutting himself.

James knew they were going to ask that and looking at his werewolf friend in the eye he said, "Yes, That's all"

His friends still looked doubtful but they let it drop.

"Sirius, I got to talk to you," Remus said pulling Sirius outside leaving Lily and James alone.

"He's lying" Remus said as soon as they left the room

"You don't think I know that," Sirius snapped back before he sighed and ran a hand through his hair

"Then what are we going to do?" Remus said, pacing in front of James' hospital door nervously

"We wait for him to tell us of course" Sirius hissed

"Okay but there something else I think this is all connected back to this Tom guy" Remus said even though James had muttered the words his werewolf senses made him hear it loud and clear. He had, then, immediately told Sirius of what James had said.

"Yeah, but the question is, who's Tom?"

**Meanwhile, in the Room…**

Lily walked toward James bed as looked toward her. She sat on the chair next to the chair and smiled hesitantly toward James who smiled half-heartedly before he spoke, "You were here the whole time?" Lily blushed and stuttered out a response, "I-I'm sorry I-if you didn't w-want m-me to k-know,"

"It's okay" James said smiling

"How do you feel?" Lily asked trying to hide her blushing cheeks

"I've been better" James simply as he settled his head back on the pillow

"It hasn't been the same without you there," Lily whispered

"Really?" James asked

"Yeah I even missed how you used to bother me," Lily said laughing and soon James was laughing too. Lily smiled it was a start.

James smiled before he edged closer to Lily, Lily in return edged closer toward James but before they could have closed the gap between them the front door burst open and in walked James' parents and Sirius and Remus. Lily heard James growl in frustration before he turned toward the people who had just entered. When seeing that James was awake, James' parents instantly by his side checking if he was okay. Lily blushed again as Remus and Sirius sent her knowing smiles.

Finally, James' parents left leaving the four teenagers alone.

"I think we should be going back now," Lily said walking toward the fireplace waiting for her two companions to follow "Goodbye, James, hope to see you back at Hogwarts soon"

"Yeah James and sorry that I kinds of got angry at you" Remus said smiling slightly

"It's okay" James said smiling back

"See you around James" Sirius said before they all left. James sighed and laid back on the bed and cried. He didn't know how he was going to face the looks of betrayal and hurt on his friends and parents faces when the three months ended. He sighed. Only time will tell.

**End of Chapter**

**_Author's Note:_**

**__**

**Like I promised 2,000 and up! Anyway, we will not be seeing Tom for a long time since the next three chapters are about how James gets through these Three months. I wanted to update quicker since I, at least, owed it to the reader who in the last chapter read a short chapter…sorry again! Anyway, Remus had to know I had a review that Remus was too slow in my story so I had to make him find out about the suicide. I know I'm sorry for all those Lily/James lover but it couldn't be that easy for them to get together at least now James know that lily likes her and vice versa. So, now that I have cleared up some things I want to ask a question because I can't decide: Do you want Remus and Sirius to learn about Tom before the three months are finished or after the three months? Tell me what you think! Thanks for the reviews (if there were any from the last chapter) and Read and Review!**

**Next Chapter: The first month and James is released from St. Mungo's how will James cope when he knows that he may hurt his parents and friends? Will he crack under the pressure of the marauder and Lily or will he survive the first month of this torture?**

**_Author's Response to Reviewers:_**

**__**

_**sweets555**__- You'll just have to wait and find out won't you! Thankx for reading and Reviewing and from my perspective I'm glad that you're addicted to my story! More reviews! Lol! Just fro you I updated faster!_

_**skittles324**__**-** So you're the one who was reviewing all my stories! Thankx for that! I really love reviews! Thankx for the review hope you read some more!_


	6. The First Month

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the plot and some characters the rest belongs to the wonderful J.K.R!**

_**A/n: This chapter is dedicated to the following reviewers**_:**Super Smexy Snuffles, ****Nelly Potter, ****captian jacks, grl****sweets555,****Sadistic Kakashi-FotJNB, ****orangeokapi13, ****skittles324** _Thankx!_

* * *

**Chapter 6: The first month**

**Summary: James is released from St.Mungo and guilt washes over him as he spends time with his friends. Will he break and tell them or will he stay firm and not?**

_James woke up with a start. He looked around and found himself in his room._

"_James, thank goodness you're awake," His mother said as she entered his room bringing a tray of food with her._

"_Mom, where's Jessica?" James asked frantically as he remembers what he saw and he prayed that it was all a dream._

_His mother closed her eyes for a moment before she answered "She's dead James we found her dead next to you, we thought you were dead also"_

"_Can I be alone?" James asked shakily as he settled back on the bed_

"_Sure, sweetie," His mother said gently before leaving_

_James laid on the bed for a moment before the tears began to fall._

_After an hour, something fell on James bed snapping James from his misery. Wiping his face, James looked at the object. It was a little black book. Picking it up, James opened to the first page only to find it blank. Confused, James pulled out an ink and quill. Dipping the quill into the ink, he let a droplet of ink drop on the book only to see the ink be absorbed. Astonished, James began to write:_

_**Hello?**_

_**Hello, what is your name?**_

**_My name is James Potter, what is yours?_**

**_My name is Tom Riddle…_**

James sighed as he remembered that day. He will never forget _that _day and what had happened next.

Just then, his mother entered and smiled gently before she said, "You're released"

James smiled and asked, "I'm going back to Hogwarts, right?"

"James, I'm sorry but, I don't think you could go back to Hogwarts," His mother said softly

"What?" James whispered horrified

"I'm sorry, James, but we don't think you're capable of associating with other people now," Jane said as she neared her son

"Not capable…you make it sound like I'm mental," James said disbelieving

"We have come to the decision, James, and I'm sorry," Jane said sternly

"Mom, please, don't do this," James pleaded

Jane bit her lip before she sighed and said, "Fine, I will tell you father that you've left for Hogwarts"

James smiled and hugged his mother before he whispered, "Thank you mom"

Jane smiled before she said, "Now…get ready I think those friends of yours are already waiting for you"

James smiled before he got of the bed and headed toward the bathroom to take a long shower.

* * *

The fireplace of the Gryffindor common room turned green before James stepped out of it. His friends instantly spotted him and made their way toward him. 

"Glad you're back mate" Sirius said smiling widely before he gave James a brotherly hug while Remus gave him a pat on the back.

"Glad you're back," Lily repeated before she hugged him, which shocked James

"Thanks" James said softly before he added, "I think I'll go to bed, night" with that said he started off to the seventh year dormitory as he climbed the stairs he heard Lily whispered,

"Maybe some people do change" James sighed, as she will soon realize how true her statement will be.

* * *

How ironic, that a year ago James would have complained that a month always went and go way to fast but now he would have given anything to slow down the first month. James so far almost broke twice. Once, when Dumbledore asked if anything was troubling him. Second, was right now… 

"Anything wrong, James?" Sirius asked worriedly

"Yeah James ever since you came back from St. Mungo's you've been acting like something was troubling you" Lily said

James sighed and said, without thinking, "Yes, something is wrong" He widened his eyes in horror as he hope beyond hope that they had not heard him. Unfortunately (or fortunately), in James case, Fate was not on his side.

"Well? What's wrong?" Remus asked setting the book he was reading down

"N-nothing" James stuttered as he began to stand but Sirius quickly pulled him back down and glared at him before he said, "James you can tell us anything…What's wrong?" Sirius finished softly

"Is this about Tom?" Remus asked softly

James eyes widened and thought frantically _'How the hell does he know about Riddle?'_ James was stuck, how was he going to get out of this one?

If he told, then Tom would truly kill them but was that better than killing them himself? Was that better than risking his freedom and becoming a Death Eater? Was this all worth it for a secret? Was his fear of going to Azkaban stronger then his love for the people he loved? Was he that weak?

James sighed before he finally answered, "No it's not"

Remus and Sirius looked at him disbelieving before Remus said, "James we could help…just tell us who's tom or we will use our on methods in finding out who this person is."

"Trust me, guys, none of you could ever help me with this problem I will tell you when I'm ready" James said

His friends looked at him as though they did not believe him but after a moment the sighed and reluctantly nodded.

"Thank you" James whispered before he got up from his place near the fire and head back to the dormitory. When he entered the room, he laid down on his bed and stared blankly at the wall hoping that it would give him an answer. He glanced at the calendar next to his bed, which read: August 31. Then he smiled grimly as he looked at the time: 12:00 a.m. He sighed; he had survived the first month.

End of Chapter

_**Author Note:**_

In my point of view, I thought this chapter was rushed and crappy. However, that is only my view. Tell me what you think. Oh and (please do not have a heart attack) but I think I might abandon this fic if I do not get a lot encouragement because I made my brother read it and he told me it sucked. Therefore, I need encouragement because my self-esteem is way down. Anyway, should I continue? The flashback was after the attack and I have chosen to put Tom's diary in it. I know this chapter was boring but it was only the first month next would have suspense trust me. I was astonished at how many reviews I got so far! Wow and the reads! Thankx for all! Love all of you!

The-Lily-And-Her-Stag92

_**Author's Response to Reviewers:**_

**Skittles324: _It's okay! Thankx for all of those reviews! I'm also a big sucker for James/Lily! _**

**orangeokapi13- ****_James secret isn't going to be revealed until after the three months!_**

**Sadistic Kakashi-FotJNB** _**You know I love you right? You're the reason why I quickly updated! You're fantastic! Thankx!**_

**sweets555**- _**Yep just for you! OMG! I love you to pieces you know that right? You're one of my best reviewers and I dedicated this chapter to you sweetie! I'm so glad you loved it! Hope you review this chapter because I love reading your reviews!**_

**captian jacks grl- ** **_Thankx I'm so happy you love it! I think I could do better in the grammer section but after that I'm flattered thankx for the reviews Love ya!_**

**Nelly Potter-** _**Please don't cry I haven't decided if james kill his family or become a Death eater so I'm giving you and the other reviewers the oppurtunity to choice! thankx for the review! I do hope I keep contuning this story but I'm not sure! Review and I might!**_

**Super Smexy Snuffles****_ yeah he is messed up like that! Thankx for the review hope you keep reviewing!_**

_**Thankx for all the reviews!**_

**_Next Chapter: The second month and someone finds out about who Tom really is..._**


	7. Discovery

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except Jessica and the plot

_**Chapter dedicated to:**_ Sadistic Kakashi- FotJNB, RiGhTeO, prongsXxX, kittens0020, skittles324, sweets555, kkroonie, Nelly Potter!

**Chapter 7: Discovery**

_**Summary: Someone finds out who Tom really is…Read and Review!**_

**_A/n: I had a review that the names of James' parents were: Dorea and Charlus so I am using them! I would like to thank all of my reviewers who kept me going and there is a surprise at the end for all my faithful readers! On, to the story!_**

"_James?" Dorea asked softly as she knocked on the door of her only son bedroom. She was worried because it has been a month since Jessica's death and James looked like he was not getting any better but worse. She sighed when she did not get a response. Opening the door gingerly, her face paled as she saw the state of the room but also her son. Her son was bleeding and a puddle of his own blood was around him. He was shaking and looked like he was on the verge of breaking down._

"_James!" Dorea screamed as she made toward her son_

"_No, mom, get away from me! I don't deserve to live not when she's dead," James said weakly as silent tears streamed down his cheeks_

"_Charlus! Come here! It's James," Dorea screamed frantically and instantly she heard footsteps coming toward the bedroom_

"_What is it Dorea?" Charlus asked as he entered but he instantly saw the problem. He paled and immediately he walked toward his son._

"_Get away Dad. I don't deserve to live" James screamed, shaking_

"_James, I want to help" Charlus whispered gently as he neared his son._

"_I'm calling St. Mungo's," Dorea said before she hastily left the room not wanting to see her son in this state._

"_Come on James" Charlus said in a choked voice as he tried hard not to cry, he picked up the shaking form, that was his son and began to walk out the room not even noticing the black book that laid opened on James bed._

"Wake up, James" Sirius said frantically shaking his screaming friend. With a start, James woke up from his recurring nightmare. He took a deep breath before he noticed his two friends looking at him with concern. He silently cursed as he remembers that he forgot to put up the silencing spell.

"You okay, James," Remus asked gently as he look at his friend. He was worried for his friend and his friend's sanity.

"Yeah…I'm okay," James, said smiling slightly

"You want to talk about," Sirius asked cautiously

"No, I don't" James snapped before he got up, gingerly, and entered the bathroom, he knew that he'd have to go to classes today. He knew that his teachers were not going to sympathize anymore.

"That went well," Remus muttered as he sat on his bed

"I just don't get it, why doesn't he trust us," Sirius asked angrily

"He does trust us but I think he's afraid on either how we'll react or he just not ready to tell us" Remus supplied as he began to dress for classes

Sirius sighed, all he wanted was his best friend back not the miserable teenage boy who was confused but also didn't trust his friends with his problems any more. Sirius sighed once more, before, he too, he began to dress for classes also

* * *

'_It seems that everything is back to normal,'_ McGonagall thought as she notice the Marauders enter late as usual.

"Open your books to pages 234 we will be learning about turning objects into other objects" McGonagall said sternly before she turns toward the blackboard and began to right.

"Psst…Potter" A voice behind the three marauders hissed at James. James sighed before he turns around and says, "I don't want to hear your crap, Snape," before he turns around and stares determinedly at the black board.

"Yeah, Snape, shut the hell up or I'll make you" Sirius said glaring at Snape

"Oh really, Black, I'm really scared" Snape said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes "Did Potter really tell you what happen over the summer? Did he tell you the decision—" But as James paled as he listened to Snape's word, Sirius became rash and, immediately, lunged toward Snape.

They were now both on the ground but not for long because McGonagall finally noticed the commotion and with a flick of her wand, the two boys were off each other. Sirius had a swollen lip while Snape had a black eyes and McGonagall was beyond furious.

"You…detention…tonight…infirmary…NOW!" McGonagall yelled it took a moment for them to understand what she said but when they did the two boys groaned but did as they were told and went to the infirmary.

* * *

"I can't believe I have detention," Sirius said as he angrily entered the dormitory. James and Remus closely followed.

"And it's my entire fault" James groaned as he sat on his bed.

"No, it's not" Sirius said fiercely "I wanted to do that because I know that anything Snape wanted to be revealed was either a lie or something that you wanted to keep to yourself" Sirius finished but James knew that he felt hurt that Snape knew something about him that Sirius, his best friend, didn't know.

"You know, I will tell you…just give me some time," James said as he looked at his two friends, hoping that they would be patience.

"We understand, James," Remus said softly smiling

"But I will tell you this…I did something when I twelve that will defiantly give me a life sentence in Azkaban. But when I did it, I was just trying to help Jessica…so she wouldn't get hurt…and…someone is holding that against me…and I don't know what to do" James confessed before he put his head in his hands

"James, you know we'll always be here for you," Sirius said though inside he was trying to figure out what happened to James when he was twelve. He hoped that it was not bad as James put it to be.

"I know but like I said give me time," James whispered before he silently added, _'Give me some time to clear my head and sort out this growing problem.'_

* * *

At Six P.M. sharp, Sirius was at the great hall waiting for McGonagall to give him his assignment after a moment of waiting, she came.

"Mr. Black, you will be with Mr. Filch in the trophy room," McGonagall said sternly before she turned toward Snape. Sirius sighed before he followed Filch to the Trophy room.

"Get to work then…you have all night," Filch said smirking before he left Sirius to his thoughts and many trophies to clean.

An hour past, before Sirius hands began to ache he sighed before he took a hold of the next trophy wiping it of he stared at the name it said: Tom Riddle. It seems like everything clicked. Tom was a Hogwarts graduate that must have contact with James but why? Sirius furrowed his brows in thought as he thought of the possibilities. He glanced at the trophy and looked at the name: Tom Marvolo Riddle, Special services to the school.

Then something clicked and he thought for a while before he whispered in realization, " Maybe it's an anagrams" with that thought in mind, he instantly conjured ink, a quill, and parchment and began to work before, he gasped and whisper _"I am Lord Voldemort…_that can't be true…can it? Oh God…_"_ he dropped the trophy, in horror, and it landed on the floor with a clang before he sprinted out of the room in search of Remus. Maybe, he will have some answers…

* * *

**Meanwhile…**

Lily was reading the _Daily Prophet_ crying softly, thinking, _'Poor James'_ for on the front page it read:

**_Dorea Potter Murdered_**

_**End of Chapter**_

_**Author's Note:**_

_I thought about it...I really did and I have decided that I am continuing the story and I am going to have a sequel! There will only be a few more chapters left and I will stop writing the story after the decision is made. The sequel…well I cannot say much about it just that…James will get his revenge on his sister killer and his secret will be revealed other than that I can't tell you because it'll ruin this story and the sequel. Thankx for all the encouragement I really appreciate it since this will be my first story that I will finish. _

_Next, I am sorry but I had to kill off someone so the plot could work. The flashback was the day when James had gone to St.Mungo's the first time. Thank you for all the reviews and I never knew that my first novel (which will be completed!) would be a success! So thank you all for making this happen because if it were not for you I would not have put my heart in this! I would have actually abandon it and maybe never start another novel. So Thankx and read and review!_

_The-Lily-And-Her-Stag_

_**Author's Response to Reviewers:**_

_**Nelly Potter**__**: Thankx! The next chapter will be dramatic! I hope you like it!**_

_**kkroonie**__**: I am sorry that the first month didn't give you anything but this chapter is more developed and Sirius finds out! Next chapter Lily finds out and the decision! So it'll get better!**_

_**sweets555**__**: I totally agree! Thanks for the review! Love ya!**_

_**skittles324**__**: Lol! No offense taken! Thankx for the encouragement I really apperciate it!**_

_**kittens0020**__**: Thankx for the review! and the encouragement!**_

_**prongsXxX: Thankx!**_

_**RiGhTeO**__**: Thankx! and I have'nt decided yet!**_

_**Sadistic Kakashi-FotJNB**__**: Thankx and you think he doesn't strike as someone will kill...let me not say anything! LOL Thankx for the review!**_

_**Next time:**_

_**Lily sat down in the library and sighed before she opeaned Hogwarts: A history. She scanned the index before she found the Speacial Services and who won them. she frantically scanned before she stop short on Tom Riddle. **_

_**She gaped before she stood up and whispered, "So their right...Tom Riddle is Lord Voldemort" before she could have gone any further, someone pinned her to the wall and said icily," Well we can't have this information coming out now can we? no we can't...you...you're coming with me"**_

**_Thankx! Read and Review!  
_**


	8. Kidnapped

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the plot and Jessica.**

**_Chapter 8: Kidnapped_**

_**Summary: In this chapter, James finds some unsettling news. Remus and Sirius confront James and someone is kidnapped…Read and Review!**_

_**A/n: This chapter is dedicated to these following readers: **_Nelly Potter (**my faithful reviewer), **RiGhTeO**(My faithful reader.), **prongsxlilyflower** (My other faithful reviewer), Tearlit (My beta-reader and inspirer!), CrimsonEmeralds (My encourager!), **sweets555**(My other encourager), **skittles324 **(My last faithful reviewer). Thank you all!**

"_How is he?" Dorea whispered as she sit by her husband, Charlus, awaiting for answers from the Healer._

"_He is catatonic right now so you won't be able to see him soon" Healer Johnson said, sympathetic for the two Potters._

"_Let me go in…please" Dorea whispered as she stand up from her seat_

"_I…" The Healer hesitate, he didn't know what to say he didn't want to forbid a mother to not see her son so he said, "he may come out of it so you may try,"_

_Dorea nodded her thanks before she walked into the room. Her heart broke into two when she saw the state of her son. He was staring at the ceiling but he was not really seeing. He was extremely thin and pale, almost translucent, and his breaths came slowly as if he was slowly dieing._

_She hesitantly touched his arm and whispered, "James" she started crying, "My baby. How could you do this to yourself? To us?" This seemed to snap James out of his stupor because he blinked and turned his head toward his mother and asked, "Mom?"_

_Dorea could not take it as he heard baby boy say that simple word he sounded so…_ vulnerable_. She engulfed James into a hug and began crying._

"_James I'm here don't worry" Dorea whispered as she rocked her boy back and forth._

_James sniffed and asked, "Did you bury her yet?" _

_Dorea heart broke before she whispered, "I'm sorry James but we had too."_

_James only response to this was bury his face into his mother robes and responded in a muffled voice, "I never even said goodbye" Finally, he let the tears go. _

_Dorea just held him not saying a word until she whispered, "Shh…Jamie it's going to be okay. We will get through this and I will always be here for you. I promise I'll never leave you…I promise." And James believed her._

* * *

James remembered that day as he read the Daily Prophet that Lily had silently given him when he had woken up. _'She promised'_ James thought helplessly as he clutched the paper in his hand hard. Tears began to fall as he whispered, "She promised"

The only thing that Lily could do was look on helplessly not knowing what to do. Then suddenly James shot up from his position on the couch and began to run up the stairs that led to the boy's dorms. He opened the door and kicked open his trunk. He rummaged through the contents inside before he found the little black book. Taking a quill and ink, he wrote angrily,

"**You Bastard!"**

He waited silently for the response and it came,

"_Me?"_

"**Yes you. You promise you wouldn't touch my family but you did"**

"_You took to long for your decision"_

"**You gave me three months"**

"_And you took it for granted"_

"**She was my mother"**

"_She was of no use. Good riddance"_

"**You are a sick bastard. How dare you?"**

"_How dare I? How dare you? I gave you an opportunity Potter and I will not be generous anymore. By October 31st I expect your answer if not then you and your family will suffer the consequences"_

With an angry cry, James closed the book and through it at the wall, where it laid opened. Breathing heavily, he sank back down exhausted. How could this happen so fast to James?

How could he have changed to an innocent 6th year student with a perfect life to a helpless, frighten and broken man…yes a man James Potter was no longer an innocent boy that didn't know what the world held. The end of his innocence had come to the halt when he had touched that god forbidden black book. The problem all came back to one person: Tom.

James was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard two pairs of footsteps run up the stairs to the boy's dorm, the door opened and Sirius and Remus entered the room. They spotted James and made there way toward him.

When they arrived, Remus broke the silence by saying, "We know"

James heart sank, how could they know? He thought for a moment before he said as calmly as he could, "Know what?"

"We know that Tom is Lord Voldemort." Sirius yelled, which shocked James, Sirius never yelled at James, "How could you have lied to us?" Sirius finished looking hurt before he added quietly, "Even Snivellus knew about but your best friends were clueless." Sirius said, glaring at his…ex-friend.

"I'm sorry I just didn't know how to tell you what was I suppose to say 'Hey guys guess what Voldemort threatened me and my family.' I don't think so," James snapped,

WHAM!

James staggered back as Remus glowered at him while holding the hand he had hit James with. "You son of a bitch, we didn't care how you told us. We just wanted to know, we could have dealt with it, James," Remus snarled out as he glared at James

Sirius calmly walked up to James and said coldly, "Do you know what Rule number 1 says, James?" Of course you do you made it…it says A Marauders will never lie to another Marauder and the consequences…" Sirius trailed off as he saw James paled

"N-no…" James whispered

"Yes, from this day forward Prongs is no longer a Marauder. Prongs is dead." Remus proclaimed before he left, Sirius closely behind.

"What am I going to do know?" James whispered as he began to comprehend everything. He let out a choked sob as he realizes what they had said. He had just lost his two best friends in the world. He had nothing to lose now and he knew his decision…

* * *

Remus and Sirius silently made there way down to the Common Room. Where Lily was waiting for them looking worried. When they reached her, she asked, "What happened? I heard a lot of yelling"

Remus said stonily, "We found out that Tom Marvolo Riddle is Lord Voldemort. He was contacting James who didn't tell us"

Lily eyes widen as she heard the news, "How did you find out?"

"Sirius found out, actually, and told me," Remus said tiredly,

"Are you two sure?" Lily said and when the two nodded she shook her head and said, "I have to read it to believe it" Before she got up and left, heading to the library.

* * *

Lily sat down in the library and sighed before she opened Hogwarts: A history. She scanned the index before she found the Special Services and who won them. She frantically scanned before she stop short on Tom Riddle.

She gasped before she stood up and whispered, "So their right...Tom Riddle is Lord Voldemort" before she could have gone any further, someone pinned her to the wall and said icily," Well, we can't have this information coming out now can we?...you.."

Her attacker chuckled before he tighten his grip on her throat, making her desperately try to get some air, before he finished his statement "You're coming with me…" he finished before the kidnapper muttered a spell and Lily blacked out. Not knowing where the kidnapper was taking her…

_**End of Chapter**_

**_A/n: I am in desperate need for a…title! It is for the sequel and I cannot post the sequel with out a title so please give me suggestion! Thankx_**

**_Sorry for the cliffy, I am so evil. The flashback was when James went to St. Mungo's for the first time. It fitted perfectly with the story. So what do you think? I was crying at some part and laughing at some. I loved writing the fight because it was good. I actually laughed though I did felt bad after wards. _**

**_What else? This chapter was too short I will make sure the next is longer. Riddle's Diary will be here to stay I have decided. Um…I guess that is it…if you have any questions feel free to review and I will get back to you…god I feel so formal Lol! _**

**_Anyway, Read and Review please. The only reason I did not update sooner is that I did not get many reviews so I took my time. So if you want me to update real fast then Review! _**

**_Tomorrow or Monday, I will be updating finding out the truth. The next chapter will be juicy but I will not tell you what is going to happen since I myself do not know yet Lol! Plus I feel very evil so I'll let your imagination run of the possibilities of what might happen next. Read and Review!_**

_**Next Chapter: The decision is made…Read and Review! **_

_**Love you all,**_

_**Padfoot-n-Prongs92**_


	9. The Decision

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except Jessica and the plot (and another character that will be introduced in this chapter)

**Chapter 9: The Decision **

_Summary: October 31st has finally arrived, decisions are made and friendships are lost…Read and Review!_

**A/n: It took me a long time to write this so I hope you enjoy!**

_6 year-old Jessica and James Potter watched silently, from their place at the top of the stairs, as their father, Charlus, opened the front door and allowed their aunt, Kimberly Potter._

_When she was situated, she looked coldly at her brother before she spoke, "I know."_

_Charlus looked at her coolly before he said; "Know what?"_

"_Don't play stupid. I know where you've been every night for the past two weeks." Kimberly snapped at her brother_

"_For the past two weeks,I've been at work every night." Charlus replied just as coldly._

"_No, you haven't." Kimberly yelled as she stood up. Charlus, too, stood up and faced his sister._

"_And if I wasn't at work," Charlus began "It would not be your business as to where I go."_

"_That may be so, Charlus." said Kimberly "But when you involve my niece and nephew than it is my business."_

"_I may have to remind you Kiki that I am older and my business and what I do with my children is none of your business. I may also suggest that you keep your opinions to yourself." Charlus said before turning his back from his sister_

_Kimberly narrowed her eyes before she pulled out her wand and yelled "Stupefy"_

_Upon Auror reflexes, Charlus whipped around and pulled out his wand yelling "Protego!" A red shield protected him from the upcoming spell then he added, "Crucio." He watched grimly as his sister fell to the ground writhing in pain._

_As he lifted the curse, he stated quietly, "You know too much…I'm sorry" Before he raised his wand and said calmly,_

"_Avada Kedrava."_

**Lily POV:**

I groaned as I regained consciousness. The first thing that came to my mind was where I was. I looked around I found that I was chained to the wall two feet from the ground, my clothes were torn and dirty, and I was in a cold, damp cell. The events came back to me as I shifted.

"Glad you came around." A voice said from the shadows, startling me from my thoughts, I assumed this was my kidnapper.

"Who are you?" I said to the direction of the voice.

"It doesn't matter, since you won't live to tell anyone." The voice said coldly, sending shivers through my spine

"What do you want?" I asked

""You know too much, Miss Evans." He replied before he left,

leaving me to either wait for my death or escape…

It has been one week since Lily's kidnapping and neither the Aurors nor Dumbledore had any idea where she was.

James was sure that she was at Riddle Manor. However, with Remus and Sirius not speaking to him,? He was positive that Dumbledore would think he was mad before he believed James.

James entered the dormitory but stopped as he saw his two ex-friends. He doubted they would listen but he would try it.

"I know where Lily is." He said.

Remus and Sirius looked up and Sirius scowled before he said, "So you finally decided to trust us with your little discoveries."

James sighed before he said, "Look I just wanted to inform you of it so you might help her."

Remus studied him for a moment before he asked, "Where is she?"

"At the Riddle Manor." James whispered looking at the two boys

They both instantly paled. "R-riddle Manor?" They questioned

James quickly answered, "Yes, but you don't have to go if you don't want to. I can go alone."

They thought for a moment before Sirius nodded and said, "For Lily."

James nodded before he closed his eyes and did something he did not do for a long time. He contacted 'Tom'.

_Tom?_

**Have you made your decision?**

"_Yes"_

"**Then touch the door knob and it will bring you to the edge of a forest. Follow your way out and enter the manor"**

James sighed as he made his toward the door. Before he touched the knob, he told the two boys behind me, "If you want to come, hold my hand." They were hesitating at first but they complied.

Taking a deep breath, James touched the doorknob and everything went black…

James, Sirius, and Remus all fell with a thump as they were transported to a dark forest.

James took a deep breath before he pulled out his wand and motioned Remus and Sirius to do the same. He began walking the other two right behind him.

James?" Sirius said breaking the uncomfortable silence between the three

"Yes?" James said hesitantly, knowing that even if they were talking to him it did not mean he was forgiven.

"Did you trust us?"

James blinked, he was startled by the question but he still answered it, "Of course I did."

"Then why didn't you tell us?" asked Remus

"Didn't want to get you killed." James muttered as he stepped on a twig

"We could take care of ourselves you know," Sirius said tiredly

However, James did not respond as he stepped out of the forest and crouching down, he made his way toward the entrance of the manor.

"Stupefy." James whispered as he stunned the Death Eater that was guarding the entrance. He went passed the fallen Death Eater and entered the manor.

He was now breathing heavily as he made his way down the hall and toward the cell room. Finally, he stopped at the last one.

He opened the door with a quick '_Alohomora'_ before he entered.

The three boys gasped as they entered the room and caught sight of Lily.

James felt his blood boil. How could someone do this to Lily? Anger surged through his body as he turned to Remus and said, "Apparate her back to Hogsmeade and get her back to Hogwarts as fast as you can. Find Dumbeldore and tell him _everything_."

Remus nodded before he made his way toward Lily.

Turning to Sirius, James said quietly, "Are you with me?"

Instantly, the two brothers knew the answer. Then, with one last glance at Lily, the two boys made their way out of the cell.

James knew where he was going as he made his way through the halls. Finally, he stopped in front of a steel door. Shakily, he opened the door and entered.

"Glad you could make it, Potter."

He instantly knew it was Voldemort.

James growled. This person killed his twin, his mother, and the reason he lost his two best friends.

"I came. I know you are aware that Lily is free and that she and Remus are on there way out of here. I suggest that you let them leave." James said coldly looking directly at the dark wizard

Of course, they could leave," Voldemort, said before he added, "But Black stays."

Though he wanted to James did not object.

"Bring Black to me." Voldemort ordered two of his Death Eaters

Sirius, now, stood in front of the dark wizard.

"On your knees, Black," Voldemort spat

Sirius just raised his eyebrows not intending to kneel

"Didn't your mother teach you manners" Voldemort sneered

"Why yes she did" Sirius started pleasantly before he added, "But she told me to use it only in a presence of a pureblood."

Voldemort scowled before he muttered a spell and said, "When I tell you to kneel…kneel."

James closed his eyes as he heard a sickening crack as Sirius' knees broke and he fell to the ground. Sirius' cries of pain echoed through the room.

"James come forward" Voldemort said

James glared as he stepped forward and clenched his wand. The Death Eaters that were holding him let him go.

"You have a chose: you kill him or I will." said Voldemort

James stared at Voldemort before he said, "I can't"

"Then I will" Voldemort said before he conjured a knife and rose from his seat. Making his way toward the already injured Sirius, James felt his heart pound heavily against his ribcage.

Finally, Voldemort reached Sirius. He sneered at the fallen Black before he raised the knife and inserted it in Sirius abdomen.

Sirius screams filled the cold room as Voldemort twisted the knife. Voldemort laughed cruelly as blood splattered on the floor.

"Stop!" James said as he tried to make his way toward his best friend but the Death Eaters stopped him. He sighed before he said, "I…I'll do it."

Remus panted as he finished his first side-along apparition. He glanced at the now unconscious Lily and, with energy, he did not know he had, he hauled her over his shoulder and began his way through the Forbidden Forest and towards Hogwarts.

Do your worst" Voldemort said simply as he moved to the side to let James stand in front of his best friend.

Raising his wand, James stood in front of the injured Black. Gray met Hazel eyes and a memory came to James.

"_Hi" 8-year-old James said happily, as he came to stand in front of the lonely boy "I'm waiting for my sister. I'm James Potter, want to be friends?"_

_The boy looked up at him before he said, sadly, "I don't have any friends. My mommy said no one would want to be my friend because I am a disgrace"_

"_Well," James started frowning, "Your mommy isn't suppose to say those things. She supposes to be nice to you. Anyway, I want to be your friend." He said smiling before he added, "We'll be best friends. Friends forever"_

_The boy smiled before he said, "Okay, friends forever. My name's Sirius Black."_

Tears fell from James eyes as he blinked. What was he going to do?

Meanwhile, Remus finally arrived at Hogwarts. He struggled as he entered the Entrance Hall. _'A few more steps' _he kept thinking as he kept carrying the now heavy Lily over his shoulder. Opening the doors of the Great Hall, he fell to the floor as the last bout of energy he had left him

"Dumbledore," He rasped before darkness claimed him.

James hesitated. What he was going to do. Voldemort told him to do his worst…but could he really kill someone? His best friend no less.

However, if he did not do it…Voldemort would. But what about the real decision? How would Sirius take it?

"I made my decision." James started closing his eyes slowly **(A/n: I should stop here shouldn't I? but I do not feel that evil!)** "Three months ago, you gave me an ultimatum: to become a death eater or kill my friends. I choose to become a death eater under one condition I do not receive a dark mark." James finished, he knew his fate was sealed and there was nothing left to do…his decision was made.

Voldemort nodded slowly before he said, "Finish the deal."

James looked at his friend that was still on his knees. He saw the pain, sadness, betrayal, and hurt that his grey eyes held, and his heart clenched knowing that he was reason for all of those emotions.

"Finish the deal." Voldemort repeated impatiently

He could not. He would not. However, he had to.

So closing his eyes, he let the tears fall as he whispered,

"Crucio."

**End of Chapter**

A/n: The decision is made and a new plot is unfolding. Now let me explain some stuff

First, the flashback was when James and Jessica were six year old and they witnessed something they should not. This is part of James dark past (but not all of it just…some) so remember this flashback it is very important. Kimberly knew something she should not but what was it (or what is it) you could guess what Charlus is but I will not tell you yet so do not ask! (Mainly, because even I do not know yet).

Second, A long chapter! Finally! There will only be two-ten chapters left before I start the sequel. I found a title so the sequel is called…Fate's Symphony! If you have, a problem with it please let me know so I can change it.

Third, I love simply loved the ending it was so intense and it was what kept giving me problems. Like first I had James tell Voldemort no and Voldemort kills him. O0. I know what I was thinking! That is why it took me a long time to update. Oh and I forgot to tell you but ever since December 23 I am a trusted author! That is why I update so fast!

Fourth, any questions? Comments? Suggestions? Leave me a review! I take every review to heart! I think that is all!

Fifth, The next update is Dealing with Destiny! However, I will be updating _this _fic on April 23! Read and Review please! Thank you Super Cara for beta reading!

Love,

EmeraldPrincess92


	10. Devil's Temptation

Disclaimer: Do I really have to add a disclaimer in every chapter? Oh well, you know the usual I do not own anything except the plot and some characters.

_Chapter 10: Devil's Temptation_

_Summary: Sirius escapes. James is ordered to kill two members of the Order. (Hint: They always said that Gideon and Fabian Prewitt died heroically)…Read and Review!_

_A/n: Okay, so because I received so many reviews, I am updating before the date I had stated in the last chapter. In this chapter, we see a bit of James' dark past, Sirius escapes; James kills two people, and a surprise at the end. -**evil cackles-** So, why are you still reading this? Go and find out the torture my mind have wielded for you. Here. Oh just a warning…an evil cliffy is ahead. Read and Review. Now, presenting Chapter 10!_

Last time on _The Death of the Heart:_

"Seal the deal" Voldemort repeated impatiently

He could not. He would not. However, he had to.

So closing his eyes, he let the tears free as he whispered,

"Crucio…"

James watched with sorrow as Sirius writhed on the ground, screaming in agony. He felt a pain in his heart as he watched his best Fri—no…his brother writhe in pain because of a spell he did.

He dropped his wand in both surprise and in pain as the wand shocked him. Sirius fell to the ground, unconscious, as James cradled his right hand, which had been injured.

Voldemort clapped and laughed before he said, "Pretty good for your fist time, Potter, Bellatrix and Lucius bring black to the place he will be calling home for now on"

"Where are you taking him?" James asked as he watched Bellatrix and Lucius drag his best friend out of the room.

Voldemort smirked before he said," You'll see soon enough, Potter,"

* * *

Hurried footsteps were what awoken Remus from his slumber. His eyes still closed he made note that he could not move his head or hands. 

"I know you're awake, Mr. Lupin," A voice said from next to him.

He tried to talk but the only thug that cam out was a groan.

"Ah," Was the only thing the voice said before the person handed him a glass of water and he gratefully took it drinking the water.

He blearily opened his eyes and came face to face with Dumbledore. Everything came back to him as he stared at the headmaster. He panicked. Where was Lily? Was James and Sirius all right?

"Professor…" he started off his voice cracking slightly "Professor…James and Sirius…there in the Riddle Manor" He said trying to clear his head

Dumbledore paled before he said, "Thank you for telling me this, Mr. Lupin," he then turned, took out some out of his pocket and hurriedly spoke into it.

Remus distantly heard the words, "Danger….gather…Order…now" before Dumbledore snapped the thing closed and turned towards Remus.

"Remus, would you tell me what has happened this evening or, maybe, what has been happening this year?" Dumbledore said pointedly

"How's Lily?" He asked ignoring Dumbledore's statement

"She has a concussion but she will be fine" Dumbledore said reassured Remus

Remus sighed before he said, "Well, it all began when…."

* * *

That night James crept to cell number 348 where Sirius was being held. He cursed as he found that it was magically locked and remembered that Voldemort had his wand. 

He looked around and growled. How he despised this place, it brought back to many memories. He thought he had surpassed his childhood fear but…being here…again…it was too much for him. It brought back the pain, the fear, and the sorrow. He just wished it would all go away.

"Potter?" A voice said behind him. He froze. He knew that voice. That annoying, dark voice. It was…

Dumbledore sat shocked as he was informed of the horrors and misery his seventh year students had to endure. He just couldn't believe it. Voldemort had entered Hogwarts mentally through…James. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. He had failed them. He had failed his school. He had failed Dorea for not protecting her son. But worst of all, He had failed James. How could he have been so stupid?

"Snape?" James said coldly turning around and facing Snape he added, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Snape raised his eyebrow before he said, "I could ask you the same thing, Potter,"

"I'm here to save Sirius," James said glaring at the boy in front of him

Snape smirked before he said, "You can't do that. The Dark Lord wishes for your presences"

James mentally cursed before he said, "Then you'll save him instead"

Snape look disgusted with the suggestion before he said, "Why should I?"

"Because he's going to die if he doesn't get medical attention," James said stepping forward he was now in front of Snape's face.

"Then let him die." Snape said his cold black eyes boring into James warm hazel ones.

As soon as those words escaped from his mouth, James whipped his wand out and pointed it towards Snape's throat, "If you say that again, unlike Sirius, I won't hesitate to 'do my worse.'"

Snape stared at him for a moment before he said, "Why should I?"

"Because," James started off, "You owe me a wizard's debt."

Snape growled before he said, "Fine"

"Thank you" James muttered before he lowered his wand and made his way to the chambers where Voldemort awaited.

* * *

"Sir?" Remus said snapping Dumbledore from his thoughts "Are you alright?" 

"Yes, Mr. Lupin, I am" Dumbledore said clearing his throat he then stood up and said, "I have called in some people who will help me rescue young Mr. Potter and Mr. Black and they will return safely. I promise you that"

Remus shook his head and tried to stand up but only to sit back down as pain seared through his right arm, "I want to go to, Professor,"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Lupin, but I cannot allow that. You are hurt and need rest." With that said, he turned to leave but was halted as Remus spoke again.

"I'm their friend and I'll be damned if a broken arm stop me from helping them. They endured worse just to help me" Remus said quietly staring at the old man before him.

Dumbledore shook his head and said, "I'm sorry but no" and he turned around and walked out the room. Leaving an anxious wolf and an unconscious redhead behind.

* * *

Snape glanced both ways before he opened the cell and came face to face with a barely breathing Sirius on the florr. He sighed as he hauled Sirius over his shoulder. He casted a few spells to make Sirius lighter before he journeyed his way out of the manor and into the woods

* * *

"Ah, Potter," Voldemort said smirking "Our newest death eater" 

"Not by choice" James added coldly looking at Voldemort

"I suggest, Potter, that'll you keep your mouth shut or you'll have it worse than Sirius." Voldemort hissed as him his crimson red eyes flashing

"Nothing is worse than losing all you have" James said his fists clenched

"How…touching," Voldemort said before he added, "I have a mission for you. We are going to attack today and your task is to kill two of the Order Members."

James shook his head before he yelled, "I'm not killing anyone else"

"Then I'll tell the ministry your secret" Voldemort said sneering at the seventeen year old in front of him

"You know what Voldemort? I don't care" James yelled taking a step toward the dark wizard.

" You'll care when its your friends and that little mudblood's life on the line" Voldemort sneered back standing up

James sighed. He was right, he would care.

Voldemort smirked before he said, "Thought so. Get ready, it will begin soon" After that was said, he left. Leaving James with his thoughts.

James sighed once more before he grabbed his death eater mask and put it on. He exited the chamber and waited what was to come

* * *

"Gideon and Fabian you take those 6 death eaters over there" Dumbledore ordered pointing where some death eaters were enjoying torturing some muggles. 

"Minerva over there" Dumbledore yelled dodging a killing curse "Help Emetine out"

"Dumbledore," A voice said behind him. He quickly turned around his wand at the ready only to find Voldemort smirking at him. "Glad you could make it,"

Dumbledore eyes turned to ice when he said, "Where are James and Sirius, Tom?"

Voldemort smirked before he said, "You'll see" before he turned toward where Gideon and Fabian were fighting and said, "I would like to introduce my secret weapon"

With that said, a young man appeared and said, "Who?"

Dumbledore was confused but wait…he knew that voice. _'No'_ He thought with dread, _'It can't be…'_

"My secret weapon…James Potter!" Voldemort said laughing evilly then he added, "You may have the honors of killing the Prewitt brothers."

'No' Dumbledore pleaded mentally to James with Leglimens 'Don't do it' the only response he received was 'I have to'

He watched doing nothing as the rest of the members tried to stop James by stunning him but the death eaters stopped him. He closed his eyes crying softly, 'He had to…no one had to anything…he's just a child'

James came face to face with the Prewitt brother. They were on the floor tried of the battle they were having with the six death eaters before.

He raised his wand and said, "I'm sorry…Avada Kedrava" pointing his wand towards Gideon first.

He distantly heard Molly yell, "No, please, no" He prayed that he was not strong enough that the spell did not work but as he watched Gideon fall to the ground motionless he knew it did work.

He took a shuddering breath as he pointed his wand at Fabian he said, "Please forgive me…Avada Kedrava"

Voldemort laughed as he saw Fabian fall to the ground then he called out, "Retreat" before he apparted, his death eaters closely followed…all but one. James stayed behind standing in the same spot not moving.

"James Potter?" Someone said behind him startling him from his thoughts

He cleared his throat before he said, "Yes?"

He finally noticed that they were Auror. He knew what was to happen next...

* * *

Snape sighed in relief as he exited Forbidden Forest and caught a glimpse of the Entrance Hall._ 'Just a little more'_ He thought as he began walking again 

Not even noticing, a little change in Sirius…

* * *

"You are arrested for the murder of Gideon and Fabian Prewitt." An auror said taking a hold of his hand and magically binding them. 

He did nothing as they walked him toward the apparition point. He avoided the looks of shock, fear, hurt, sorrow, and pain from the Order members' eyes.

The only thing that was running through his mind was 'At least my friends are alive and well'

Oh how wrong was he…

* * *

Snape sighed in relief as he entered the Hospital Wing and laid Sirius down on a bed. Remus quickly left his bed and came towards Snape and Sirius. 

"Where's James?" Remus asked when he arrived near where Snape was standing

"He stayed" Snape said curtly

Remus nodded before he turned toward Sirius. He gasped before he turned back to Snape. Growling. He yelled, "What did you do?"

Snape blinked before he answered, " I didn't do anything"

"Care to explain this" Remus yelled angrily pointing at Sirius' chest

"What?" Snape asked before he added, "I just see the same annoying Black in front of me."

Remus punched him before he yelled, "He's not breathing…"

**End of Chapter**

_A/n: Cruel Cliffhanger! If you think that was evil what until you read the bottom._

_Now…_

_First, Thankx for the wonderful and encouraging review! I am so happy! Thankx._

_Second, what did you think? I thought it was excellent but I am the author so I cannot take my opinion for granted. Sorry no flashbacks until the sequel. If I continue the flashbacks, it will just ruin the sequel. This is going to be awesome! I am currently writing chapter 5 for the sequel! Yeah I am progressing Lol._

_Anyway, I had to do what I had to do. The ending was for Meghan (Tearlit) See I changed it again sorry. Lol. _

_Moving on, only two more chapters before this ends. The sequel has 26 chapters so do not worry._

_Now for my shocker, Next update is on…May 22. Hope you can wait that long! _

_Read and Review!_

_Till next time,_

_Ashley_


	11. Come What May

Disclaimer: Do not own anything except the plot and some characters.

Chapter 11: Come What May…

Summary: The Prefect Ending…Read and Review!

A/n: You read right! This is the end! I will finish it in one chapter! Hope you like it!

Previously on _the End of Innocence:_

_Snape blinked before he answered, "I didn't do anything" _

"Care to explain this" Remus yelled angrily

"What?" Snape asked before he added, "I see the same annoying Black in front of me."

Remus punched him before he yelled, "He's not breathing…"

"Get Madam Promfrey" Remus yelled at the stunned Severus who was on the ground. Snape stumbled to his feet and ran towards Madam Pomfrey's office. He slammed the door opened and yelled, "Madam, there's something wrong with Black. He's not breathing." Immediately the matron rose from her seat and followed Snape toward the injured black.

She performed spells on the possibly dead Black and said, "We have to bring him to St. Mungo's"

Remus paled before he said, "Is he going to be okay? Is it bad?"

Darkness…

"Hello?" Lily whispered as she tried to adjust to the darkness

"Yes?" A voice replied

"Where am I?" Lily asked weakly

"You are inside your mind." The voice replied

"Who are you?" Lily asked

"It does not matter" The voice replied

"Why am I here?"

"You are here to realize who you are"

"What am I then?"

"You must figure that out for yourself"

"But…"

"Silence. You are here to find out your feelings for a certain boy"

"James?"

"Smart aren't you?"

"What does James have to do with anything?"

"Everything. It is your choice today that will decided tomorrow's outcome"

"What do you mean?"

"In a few years you will know"

"What am I trying to find"

"You're trying find what you want, child"

"What I want? My head is telling me nothing but my heart…"

"Is telling you other wise. Child, you should not listen to the voice in your head but your heart because when things get rough it is the heart who knows what to do."

"O-okay. My heart is telling me that I need James"

"Indeed you do. Take care of him, Lily, because he yearns for love. I failed in my mission to give him that love. I ignored what was right in front of me…the truth."

"Who are you?"

"I'm you conscience. I'm Dorea Black- Potter…"

Lily woke up with a start gasping for air. What had happened? Was that really James' mother? Wait…James!

Lily panicked. She needed to tell James what had happened. Tell him about Tom Riddle but where was he…

"Lily?" A voice she recognized as Remus' whispered. She looked at him. He was pale, shaking, he looked terrified. Worry etched on his face.

"Remus? What happened?"

"Sirius…he's not breathing…went to St. Mungo's…James…Don't know" He mumbled

Lily paled as the news sunk in. She, gingerly, rose from her position on the bed and said, "Where's Dumbledore?"

Before Remus could have responded, the man in question burst through the door. Silvery tears trailing down his cheeks and into his beard.

"Professor" Lily began urgently as Dumbledore as he neared the two. "I must see, James, at once."

"James was arrested tonight, Ms. Evans, and is not likely to be contacted yet."

Lily heart stopped. She could not breathe. James? Arrested? Why? "I must see him, please." She pleaded tears glistened her eyes.

Dumbledore sighed before he said, "Is it important?"

"Yes"

"Life or Death?"

"Yes"

"Who's life?"

"Everyone's"

Dumbledore was startled by the answer but he did not push any further. He nodded before he said, "Hold on"

Lily smiled gratefully and whispered, "Thank you."

* * *

"Escort him to Azkaban. Life sentence for using the Unforgivables." Rufus Scrimgeour said

"I don't get a trial," A very shocked James asked as the Aurors trued to pull him away.

"You preformed the Unforgivables. You killed two people. I don't think you deserve a trial" Rufus roared at him before he said, "Take him now"

"Wait" A soft voice called out from the back. Rufus and the Aurors turned to see who it was but James did not even need to look to know who it was…it was…

"Lily" he whispered, he breathed in relief if Lily was okay than that must mean Remus and Sirius were too. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to speak to you" She replied as she made her way towards him

"Why?" He whispered as he gazed into her emerald green eyes.

She glanced at the Aurors and Rufus who was looking at her curiously before she glance Dumbledore.

Dumbledore nodded before he cleared his throat, "I think that they need to be alone for a moment."

Rufus shook his head before he said, "There's no way in hell that'll I'll leave a murderer with her."

"He's innocent…I know it." Dumbledore said icily

"You put to much faith and trust in your students, Dumbledore, one day you will see that one will turn against you and will be pointing the wand at _you _(A/n: Ohhh do I smell foreshadowing?) and I hope I will be there to see it"

"I have faith in James because i know he's innocent and by God I will find out the truth" Dumbledore said his eyes as hard as eyes. He turned around and exited the room.

Rufus sighed before he said, "Let's go. If you try something, Potter, we won't hesitate to kill you"

James nodded and watched the ministry officials leave. He sighed before he said, "What's wrong?"

Lily gazed at James for a moment before she kissed him and whispered, "I like you, James,"

James was rather shock as Lily kissed but he smiled. The first real smile in months. "I like you too, Lils,"

Lily looks at James for a moment before she said, "Why did you do it?"

James sighed before he said, "I did for you, for Padfoot, for Moony. I did it to protect all of you. He threatened to kill all of you and I couldn't live to know that I was the reason you were dead…I just couldn't"

Lily shushed him and said, "You're never, James, remember that. Remember that I will always be by your side. Know that you are loved and that your friends love you."

James nodded. "I will remember Lils"

Distantly, he heard footsteps. He had one more request.

"Lily, promise me one thing?"

"Anything"

James glanced at the door as it began to open.

"Promise me you'll find my sister's killer. Promise that you declare my innocence. Because I know, I am. I have a feeling…"

Lily nodded and watched they grabbed James. "I will" She watched as they dragged him away. "Goodbye Lils" She heard him murmur as they left.

Tears trailed down her face as she said, "Goodbye, Jamie, I love you"

Oddly, you could have heard a whisper say, "I love you too, Lils,"

* * *

"Welcome to your new home" He heard them say as they threw him in the cell. Azkaban was cold, dark and dreary. He could hear other people's screams and pleads their sanity slowly, but surely, slipping away.

_**The other night dear, as I lay sleeping  
I dreamed I held you in my arms**_

The Dementors were nearing his cell. He felt them, cold. He was so cold. He was drifting away…into his nightmares.

Screams, pleads, blood.

_**But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken  
So I hung my head and I cried.**_

"No, please, stop" he groaned clutching his hair

_**You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are gray**_

"It's for the best."Tom said

_**You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away**_

"You can't escape me, boy, just like you can't escape the people you called friends and family. If they were, how come they didn't protect her?"

_**I'll always love you and make you happy,  
If you will only say the same.**_

"How?" James asked desperately, wanting the pain to go away.

"La voce in mia testa!" The voice yelled and before James could react, a purple beam hit him.

"God, I can't take no more," he whispered as the Dementors opened his cell door. It was his own personal hell.

_**But if you leave me and love another,  
You'll regret it all some day**_

'James? James! Help! Please!'

"Jessica?" He said he knew what they wanted they wanted him to scream, plead, what to die. He would not give them the satisfaction they wanted…

_**You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are gray**_

"James is strong and he will always be. Even if I'm not there by his side even if our bond will be broken, I know James will never fall down to his knees to you or your master." Jessica said and boldly took a step toward the man "So kill me because I have enough faith in James to know that if I would die he will live…He never disappointed me before….I hope he doesn't disappoint me this time either." Jessica muttered the last sentence under her breath

"I'm sorry I failed you, Jessica, I did crumble" James said crying softly

_**You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away**_

James felt tears prickle his eyes as he realized what just happened…Three months…in three months from today he'd have to decide….on Halloween night he'll have to tell Tom his decision…

"I' m a fucking failure, I failed you all, I'm sorry"

_**You told me once, dear, you really loved me  
and no one else could come between.**_

"James?" Lily whispered, from behind the figure sitting by the fire

"Yeah?" James said, still looking at the burning flames

"Are you okay? You've seem a bit…out of it" Lily said hesitant, she did not want to push James into telling her anything, since they only recently became friends.

"I'm just thinking," James said, tiredly as he sighed

"You've been thinking awful lot since Jess died." Lily said, she took a deep breath, before she continued, "I know it's not my place to say this but…Jessica was my friend too, and yes, I miss her too but we have to move on, James, she would want that." Lily said trying to make James look at her. Finally, she got impatient and cupped James face and turned it toward her when their eyes met she whispered.

"Because she would want you to be happy in," before she put a chaste kiss on James lips before smiling and getting up and said, "Goodnight, James" before she started toward the girls dorm leaving a shock James behind

_**But not you've left me and love another;  
You have shattered all of my dreams:**_

"No, mom, get away from me! I don't deserve to live not when she's dead," James said weakly as silent tears streamed down his cheeks

_**You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are gray  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away**_

James sniffed and asked, "Did you bury her yet?"

Dorea heart broke yet again as she whispered, "I'm sorry James but we had to."

James only response to this was bury his face into his mother robes and responded in a muffled voice, "I never even said goodbye" Finally, he let the tears go.

Dorea just held him not saying a word until she whispered, "Shh…Jamie it's going to be okay. We will get through this and I will always be here for you. I promise I'll never leave you…I promise." And James believed her.

"Mom…it's my fault that you died."

_**In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me  
When I awake my poor heart pains.  
**_

Sirius screams filled the cold room as Voldemort twisted the knife. Voldemort laughed cruelly as blood splattered on the floor.

"Stop!" James said as he tried to make his way toward his best friend but the Death Eaters stopped him. He sighed before he said, "I…I'll do it."

"Sirius…I even hurt you…My best friend…" James silent cries turned into body raking sobs and more nightmares came….

_**So when you come back and make me happy  
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame**_

James came face to face with the Prewitt brother. They were on the floor tired of the battle they were having with the two death eaters before.

He raised his wand and said, "I'm sorry…Avada Kedrava"

_**You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are gray**_

Finally, James let in and screamed. A long anguish cry. He could not take it…he killed two people. He deserved to be here. He let everyone down. He failed everyone he loved and he cried. He cried for Jessica, he cried for his mother, he cried for his three best friends, but most of all he cried for his innocence lost and never to be found again…

_**You'll never know dear, how much I love you**_

Somewhere, in heaven, a woman was watching him. Tears trailed her face and she whispered,

_**Please don't take my sunshine away**_

The End?

A/n: That is it. It is finish. No more. Nothing else. It is COMPLETE! I am so happy. I finished it in one chapter. Hope you liked it! Reviews are much appreciated.

To explain some stuff:

1. The person who was singing Sunshine was Dorea as she watched James.

2. James is doing all of this for something. He feels like he was obligated to protect his friends. (Just like Harry is) so he fears that if he doesn't do what Voldemort do he'll lose his friends. Just as he lost his mother and sister to Voldemort, he fears that it would be his fault if they die. So yeah, it is complicated but all will be revealed in the sequel.

Read and Review please!


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